World of Warcraft... my anti-life...

Recently, Blizzard has introduced "achievements" into World of Warcraft. When I first heard about this news, I couldn't care less (seeing as how I don't even try for achievements on my Xbox Live account). However, when this particular addition to the game was implemented, something happened, something grave and life consuming. Upon logging into my WoW account, I saw a rain of achievements hit my Paladin (a toon I have been playing since the day that WoW was released), and curiosity got the better of me. I thought to myself, what other achievements have they put into the game. This was followed by thoughts of "I can do that one no problem while I wait for an instance run", and soon it was "Oh Hell, I can get that Hallows End title with only 12 or so hours of work, and some luck".

Well, after only about 6 hours of in game work, I almost have the title, except for the real pain in the ass, rub my lucky rabbit's foot, polish my horse shoe, nail a leprachaun from behind while sacrificing virgins to the gods of old kind of luck that I will need to complete the very last part. Now to explain this part to the nonWoW playing population, this last part of the achievement I am on requires two items that a boss drops. each item only drops 2.5% of the time that the boss is killed, and typically, the boss can only be killed by a person 5 times a day. These statistics combined with the fact that the other 4 people that kill the boss with you want them also, and that the boss can only be killed for two weeks, makes this requirement seem almost impossible banning the heretical type of luck based practice I described above. In light of this I have virtually relinquished my quest for the Hallows End title (I'll run the Headless Horseman, but my hopes are rather dashed).

This is alright though, because I am having fun being a Ret Pally for the time being. I am able to kill other players now (and not in the over powered way many people are crying about), and soloing is very fun. I even managed to obtain an arena season 2 two-handed sword, which was a nice little upgrade from what I had. And tonight, I will begin all of my fun with Stratholme. First, I plan to farm the undead side of Strath to try to obtain a death charger mount from the baron. Second, I plan to infect myself with the new (and rather awesome) zombie virus, become a zombie, and wander into undead Strath to see if anything interesting happens. I will let all you little nooblets know what happens later.

So yes, WoW is once again my anti-life, but at least it is amusing and saving me money (god, hitting bars and buying girls drinks without end results sucks and is expensive). In contrast, I now sit in front of a computer, where thousands of beautiful (18 and older) girls are ready to not touch me the same way bar girls don't touch me, however, I can at least see them naked in free 6 second thumbnail clips. All in all, a nice little short term win/win for myself.

QQ more noobs...

Boredom and Meh...

Not too much exciting has been happening as of recent, but let me fill you in on what has gone down on the awesome side of things.

First (to the pleasure of all us geeks), the new Star Wars: Clone Wars cartoon has begun airing on Cartoon Network. Now I can't think of a better way to explain this to you, than by simply rating it, so here we go.

The Star Wars: Clone Wars cartoon takes place between Star Wars movies 2 (whatever the hell the name of the this boring movie was called), and 3 (Revenge of the Sith a.k.a. everyone is pretty badass, and shit goes down). If you watched the 5 minute shorts that were aired on Cartoon Network a few years ago, the story picks up after Anakin Skywalker was knighted, and fills in the gaps a lot more than what the shorts did.

Animation Quality: Awesome Sauced!

Talk about some smooth great looking animation. It is practically movie quality, which is great considering it is a continuation of the animated movie that was just in the theatres. The colors are crisp, the animation is smooth and coherent, and I have yet to see anything sloppy like clipping of models through walls. As a matter of fact, the only thing that I have noticed that wasn't virtual perfection was some lip syncing with dialogue (and I only noticed this because I was being much too critical at the time). All in all, very pleasing to the eye.

Story Line: Awesome Sauced!

So far I am really enjoying the story line despite the fact that it is obviously (for the most part) written for younger viewers. The good guys of course win by the end of every story arc (so far), but the one thing that grabs and hooks me is that they are not afraid to kill characters off (even if they are clones that were only introduced to die red shirt style.... eeer, storm trooper style). All in all, the story is coming along very well, and is answering a bunch of questions that I have had about the Clone Wars. Well done, keep it up.

Characters: (except Asoka and some droids) Awesome Sauced+!!

The characters are all what they should be at this point. Anakin is brooding to a point and bleh, Obi Wan is noble yet ignorant of what is happening from time to time, and even clone troopers are getting great characterization. So far, it is what it should be.

Characters: (Asoka and the annoying battle droids) A-Buh...

Come on, why in the hell do we need a little Miley Cyrus duplicate in the Star Wars Universe (oh yeah, because that is what the kids are into). This characrter annoys me more than Jar Jar ever did. She tries to make everything "cutesy", and it pisses me off. And, to boil my red sauce of awesomeness even more, they made her a Togruta! This kills me, as my favorite character in the Star Wars Universe is the Awesome Sauce packed (and yes, I would be the one packing her with the awesome sauce if I could) Shakk Ti, Rawr! Oh well, I guess every species needs to have a lackluster gene deficient memeber. Oh, and when the battle droids say Roger Roger, I cringe a bit... but meh.

Star Wars Universe Coherency: Awesome!

I'm not the biggest Star Wars geek in the world (so maybe I should leave this part of the review to my friend Datix), but as far as I can tell, the series doesn't seem to cause any major coherency issues in the Star Wars Universe. Let us hope they keep this up.

Overall Rating: Awesome Sauced!

It is good, so if you like Star Wars or cartoons in general, just watch it!

To compliment my review of Star Wars: Clone Wars, I feel it's needed to mention that my friend Datix and myself have been playing Star Wars miniatures. It is a very simple game (and if I felt like typing a lot more out, I would even review it), but enjoyable as long as you and your opponent play for fun (of course still to win) instead of cutthroat, I did your mom dirty from behind, style. For more information on this game, visit either Datix's blog below to read up on what we play, or the official site (also listed below).

http://phluxstudios.com/blog/

http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=starwars

Finally, an ode to Superman, and him being a tool...

The Blue Boy Scout, Superman, Clark Kent, Kal-El whoever you may be,

You think an alter ego is being a man wearing glasses because he can't see.

Super strong, very quick, unable to be held by reinforced steel walls,

So perfect in fact you're not even capable of getting horrendous blue balls.

Law abiding, straight to the point, and morally correct,

No need for Viagra for you to get erect.

However, too nice, full of manners, and complacent is he

To use those powers to make a comic interesting for you and for me.

We know there's a problem with who you are today,

When all of your multi-verse versions are the ones we want to stay.

Ambition, character, awesomeness to say the least,

Is what a Super Hero, not Superman, needs to be a beast.

Though your powers, lack luster personality, and goodwill often save the day,

Shame you're merely a chode like Cyclops, just in a much bigger way.

Ode be to crappy super heroes. And to all a good day!

Robot Kings and Zombie Invasions...

Today I would will dedicate my post to rampaging robots, the falling economy, and zombie invasions (well, mostly how we'll all be better off if robots destroy us, and zombies consume our brains in loo of the economy).

Now if you are a Transformers fan, then the most recent comic series "All Hail Megatron" is the title line for you (unless you're a wussy autobot lover... ok, Grimlock is cool, but still). The series approaches what the universe, or more namely Earth, would be like if the Atuobots never showed up to save the day. It all begins with the arrival of the classic green and pruple constructicons, and their lovely speach "We come in peace... ours is a message of kindness." *sharp looks at each other, and then* "Bwa hahahaha!", and all soon followed with blaster shots into crowds of fleshy masses.

So far, all of my favorite classic decepticons have appeared in the series to cause havok and hell. I won't spoil anymore of the events or story for you, so I'll end this discussion with a short review.

Art: Awesome!

The humans look a little off, but who cares, all the transformers are crisp looking and in classic form.

Story: Awesome!

If you are a huge Decepticon, or just classic Transformers, fan then it is great. It all follows a very good "this is how it would happen if..." run.

Characterization: Awesome Sauced +!!

All of the characters are perfect (in regards to how they were back in the good old days). We even see the beginnings of some great advancement in the characterization of some of the Decepticons. Just amazing!

Format: Awesome!

This series is a 12 issue run. Which I think is superb. Four to Five issues would have seemed too few for such a great concept, and I think it would lose its luster if it was a forever going series. So far, 12 issues seems like a good number (3 of the 12 are currently available). In addition, 12 issues will translate very well into either one massive trade hardback, or 2 smaller trade paperbacks.

Overall Rating: Awesome Sauced!

As you can see, I am already biased because I love the Decepticons. This along with the great art, story, and format already ranks the series in high regards for me. Yet, with the characterization being absolutely flawless so far, the series is pushed past a mere "Awesome!" to "Awesome Sauced!" value. Final words... read "All Hail Megatron" NOW!!

Now in regards to the current state of the US economy, questions have arsien in regards to "how is your retirement plan looking?" Many people are concerned for their retirement plan, and I can not blame some of them. If retirement was your plan within the next 4 years, then I am sorry, but you are very possibly going to get screwed out of a lot of money. Of course it is not all happy go lucky for us young people either.

*Read this link, become enligthened or whatever hippies call it, and then please continue*

http://compensation.blr.com/display.cfm/id/150174

So unfortunately for the older crowd, they are basically forced to continue working instead of retiring now (after all, nobody wants to downgrade their lifestyle voluntarily), and us younger people are denied those more prestige job titles (be them actually more prestigious, or merely full-time classification with benefits). Yes this sucks and is horrible, but my theory is that at least us young people won't have to worry about retirement in a classic sense. With the end of the world approaching soon (rumored to be 2012, http://endworld2012.com/ ), us young people will only have to worry about surviving vast deserts of nothing, alien invasions, or my personal wager... zombie hordes.

With my bet for the end of the world being zombie invasions, I have already secured my retirement. Her name is forgiveness, and she is a heavy axe that is spcialized at cleaving and rending like no other. My backup plan (since even 401k seems shakey right now) is my post on Craig's List seeking out a monk trained in the ways of zombie slaying that is interested in teaching.

In conclussion, retirement is looking shittier and shittier everyday for those that are close to it. For those of us that are still young, the prospects of the world ending within 4 years makes retirement nothing more than a gimmick to make us try to invest our money into ill fated programs and portfolios instead of sound investments (http://www.beatthestockmarket.com/pages/news/current-articles.cfm for more information on supposed good investments, which I haven't read, so you are warned) such as Shaolin Spades and good running shoes.

Oh well, who wants to start a church with me to praise our soon to be robot leaders, and train to fight zomibes?!

"All Hail MEGATRON!!!"

So what is in awesome sauce you ask?

Me!! That is what is in awesome sauce. And, this blog will include anything and everything that adds a sharp, delicious, possibly bitter, sour yet sweet, and righteous taste the the awesome sauce that is Jolli.

To begin with, if you don't like weird scientific findings, video games, games in general, comics, girls (ok, this one I can forgive if it is just not your thing), things I find awesome, or random ramblings of a nearly mad man... well sorry, this blog is not for you.

Short and simple (like a well nuked microwave dish) will be my theme for today. I have no large rambles, or great findings, just some links that I think YOU should read and reply to. So, after you read them, reply to them if you have an opinion on something (i.e. don't just lurk like some peeping creep). ENJOY!!

http://theshiftedlibrarian.com/

http://www.thinkgeek.com/

http://www.penny-arcade.com/